She's Ruining Everything
by IJUSTLOVE
Summary: She is ruining everything he planned for tonight. How is Puck to deal, being in the room with the woman who stole his heart and the woman who stole his viriginity. Lj prompt Puck points out the cougar he lost his virginity to.


He had planned the whole day. He got her a bouquet of pink and red roses, set up a picnic lunch, sang her one of those cheese love songs she likes sooo much, and then had reservations at the new restaurant in town for dinner.

It was supposed to be romantic. Just the two of them, but shit. How was he supposed to know _**she**_ would be here too?

He knows Rachel, and this shits got to be fuckin' perfect or she'll blow a gasket on his sorry ass. She deserves perfect though, so he's cool with that. But fucking forty year old cherry picker is fucking screwing up his game.

It wouldn't be to bad, if _**she**_ hadn't just gotten divorced from her husband of ten years and was now making flirty eyes at him, while he's on his 9 month anniversary date with Rachel.

He's in a room with the woman who stole his virginity and the woman who stole his heart. Shits bound to hit the fan.

He leads Rachel to there booth in a secluded corner. The lights are low, he prays to the Jew Gods that Rachel wont notice _**her**_. The rose petals he asked for have been sprinkled over the table, and a white candle sits in the center, shut the fuck up he ain't any less of a badass, his girlfriend is just worth it. He can tell he's done good by the look on Rachel's face, like Barbara Streisand just told her she liked her shoes. She's got those stars in her eyes that she's been dreaming about for years when she looks at him.

"Noah, this is so wonderful! You've made today so amazing for me," She said as she scooted closer to him in the booth, placing her hands on the side of his face and kissing his lips lightly. "I can't believe what an incredible boyfriend I have."

He placed his hand on top of hers, still resting on his cheek, and tilted her chin up with his other hand. He looked into her big brown eyes and smiled lightly. Jew God he loved this girl.

"Anything for you babe. You know that. Your my girl I wanna make you happy." He smirked at the end thinking of all the ways he could make her oh-so-happy. Rachel's giggle brought him out of his sex deprived fantasies. She slapped his chest lightly, 9 months with Noah had taught her when he was thinking dirty thoughts. She wouldn't admit it, at least not now, but she was kinda of flattered that Noah thought of her in that way.

A lanky waiter with more zits on his face than Cheerio trophies appeared. They quickly placed their food and beverage orders.

Puck could tell _**she**_ was still looking at him, sizing him up like he was some piece of meat. _**Her**_ eyes meet his and _**she **_makes a smirk, one more devilish then his own. He shudders involuntarily at that face. _**She **_picks up the small umbrella floating around her cocktail glass, an olive stabbed on the end. He almost barfs as he watches _**her **_lick _**her**_ lips and then proceeds to wrap _**her**_ tongue around the olive drawing it into _**her**_ mouth.

He wonders if that was supposed to be sexy, cause that shit was just nasty as fuck. He doesn't even remember what he found attractive about her, cause fuck there ain't no way in hell that woman's ever giving him a boner again.

Rachel sucks on her straw lightly, making little bubbles in her water as she blows back in. She knows something is wrong with Noah. She just isn't quite sure what yet, _yet_.

He can't keep watching this it can not be good for his mental health to watch some washed out cougar try to be sexy. For fuck sake she has as many wrinkles as the waiters got be fair here, _**shes**_ got pretty stiff competition, and lets face it she can't hold a candle to his Rachel.

Zit face is back with their entrees, though he mixes them up between the two of them and ends up spilling Rachel's water every where. Puck's trying hard not to growl at him for screwing shit up. Rachel's just smiling and tell Zitty that 'it's okay' and 'don't worry about'. Puss head scurries away quickly.

Puck grabs some more napkins, trying to dry off the table area a little, while mumbling about his shitty luck.

"Noah," She sounds concerned, which makes him worried. "Are you alright? You seem out of sorts."

"I'm fine, Rach. I'm great! Hows your food? Did Pimple Paul get any water on you?"

She can tell he's lying, she doesn't understand why.

"Noah, that's not nice his name is Christopher and his acne issues are none of our concerns. My food is fine, thank you. How is yours?"

"Great. Fantastic even." He hadn't even tasted it yet.

_**She **_was giving him that face again. It made him want to crawl out of his skin and run for his goddamn life. Bitch looks like a wacko, and she is ruining his date. He tries to distract himself now by shoveling large mouthfuls of his food into his mouth at a rapid pace. Why did _**she **_have to be here tonight, when he planned to tell Rachel he loved her.

Rachel notices him looking away from there table. She takes it upon her self to find what has him so crazed.

A large man with a lengthy beard, no that can't be it. The four elderly ladies with knitting needles on the table, can't be them. Mrs. Cowell with lusty eyes, no. A young cou... wait a minute Mrs. Cowell, WITH LUSTY EYES.

_**She **_was giving Puck the lust eyes now and it was creeping him out.

"Noah why is Mrs. Cowell from temple looking at you like your some sort of male prostitute?" Rachel asked in an agitated tone. His eyes must be the size of baseballs.

"Ra...she's not... what are you..ummmm." How the fuck was he getting out of this shit.

"Noah Elijah Puckerman, explain right this very instant." Rachel said. Now she's pissed.

"Babe, 's no big deal. Look, I lost it to her when I was like 14 alright. I was probably still the best she ever had. Now that she's divorced she's probably high on the hill is all."

"And you are interested in her?" Now his eyes are basketballs.

"Fuck no, babe. You know you're my girl, I want you," He said with a wink. " 'sides she's 'bout as hot as Pizza Face." Rachel blushed slightly then gave a stern look towards Mrs. Cowell in disapproval.

"Well then this is highly inappropriate behavior for someone of her age. She should be the responsible one, yet she is attempting to seduce you while you are sitting next to me. I will not have this."

Rachel stood throwing her napkin off her lap and stomped towards 's table. Puck was officially bugging out. He quickly rushed after his girlfriend, he didn't need a cat fight on his hands.

Rachel had finally reached the table with Noah right behind her. was staring into her glass twirling the paper umbrella around.

"Excuse me," Rachel said in her ultra sweet voice. The woman looked up, pretending to act surprised. She was defiantly not an actress of Rachel's caliber. "Hi. You've been staring at my boyfriend for the past half an hour and it needs to stop. I don't really care about your past with him, he's _mine_ now. And I am politely asking you to end these repulsive actions at once." Rachel said with a triumphant smile. The woman's mouth was agape, but she quickly recovered and rose from her seat.

"Listen, sweetheart, your _boyfriend_ needs a woman not a girl. Why don't you go run home and play with your dollies and let a real woman show Puck a good time." She replied bringing out that devilish smirk of hers.

Rachel was fuming, she opened her mouth to make her rebuttal when Noah stepped in front of her. His eyes were dark and full of rage. _**She **_was ruining his night dammit.

"How bout you listen, you old washed up bitch," The woman's faced faltered slightly at this. " You don't know fucking shit about what I need. I would never in a million years, ever, do anything with your nasty ass. What happened before was the biggest fucking nightmare of my life. You were like the fly on the wall that wouldn't die," He turned slightly to put his arm around Rachel and continued. "And don't you dare fucking insult this woman right here, and she is way more woman then you ever were, with that stash you're growing. I love this woman right her, and she is all I fucking need, fuck you very much."

"Puck you are to young to be in love. You should have fun." _**She **_says as she slides her hand up his arm. Rachel steeps out from his grasp, he is almost positive smoking is coming out of her ears.

"First of all, his name is Noah. Though you really aren't worthy of saying it even. Second of all take your trashy ass hands off of him." Puck was shocked when he heard her curse, this wasn't going to end well for Mrs. Cowell. "And thirdly you sluty trash whore, no wonder your husband left you, flirting with teens." 's face burned red.

"You little bitch. Your boyfriend didn't mind 3 years ago when he was fuc..."

She wasn't finishing that sentence because Rachel grabbed _**her **_cocktail glass, which had been full, and thrown it in the womans face. Red liquid stained _**her**_ shirt, _**she **_rubbed her face furiously trying to get the offending drink off.

Puck had never been more proud of his girl.

"I can not believe that they kicked us out of the restaurant for that. She should be arrested, she is practically a pedophilia." Rachel said in a huff as he drove her home.

"Babe, you did throw a Margarita in her face."

"She deserved it!" Rachel said turning towards him with an exasperated look on her face.

"Hey, I'm not saying she didn't, just saying shit burns. Believe me I know," He said flinching at the memory. "That was totally badass by the way."

"Thank you! I learned from the best!" Rachel smiled. "I am a little jealous of her though."

"Why the fuck is that?" Puck asked confused.

"Because she had you first." Rachel said quitely.

"Rach, she never had me." He said in a sweet voice. "You have my heart. Sorry you had to find that out by bitching at that ho. "

She smiled lightly with a giggle and looked into his eyes. "Love you Noah."

He smirked as he gave her a light kiss on the lips. "Love you too Rach. More than anything."


End file.
